#1 - the serif font suggests a playful, Harry Potter-type lead character who "just wants to be a normal kid" in the san fernando valley, but realizes through coming-of-age that his destiny is to be a lightning-wielding hero of the ages. and he has to protect those mountains over there. he'll go through doubts in himself, personal ridicule from misunderstanding peers and parents, and probably have to make a choice between what he wants and what is important (i.e. cute blonde from popular film of last year).
#2 - this sans-serif, all caps title suggests destiny is not fucking around. also, the title is at the bottom, which suggests you should think that M. Night Shyamalan's involvement should somehow trump whatever the film's content will be. photo suggests this hero is asian, which means he will also have to overcome the fact hat he is smarter, faster, and better at martial arts thank the rest of the world, and will then realize it about his mentor, who might not be asian. but because his heritage is more exotic, he has a castle to protect, and not mountains, and because the stakes are higher there, we can whittle out the girl factor, since America isn't ready to see a romance about someone who is asian. the struggle with destiny will be with himself, and with the voiceover of his master mentor, who will die two-thirds through the movie. in 3D.
#3 - this font wants to appeal to the Mortal Kombat lover inside you to get you in the theatre, and then give you a super wedgie when you realize in the credits it's a disney movie. but to disney's credit, this poster works hardest of all. nicholas cage's hair extensions tell a story all their own. LOOK! he's a SORCERER. he's a little unkempt, ok? yes, that's his duster he used to wear in FFA in high school it STILL FITS. it means he has a PAST he clings to even though he guards it with cold, unfeeling disciplinary magic action towards his apprentice, who "just wants to be a normal kid" in new york city but realizes through coming-of-age that his destiny is to be a magic-light-ball-wielding hero of the ages. and he has to protect those skyscrapers over there. he'll go through doubts in himself, personal ridicule from misunderstanding peers and parents, and probably have to make a choice between what he wants and what is important (i.e. cute blonde from popular film of last year). and the dragon font means that at some point there will be an actual dragon at some point, probably in act III. it will be alluded to for a long time and show up UNEXPECTEDLY! probably released by a villian who was awakened by the apprentice's 18th birthday. but it'll go ok and nic cage will unlock the secrets of the apprentice's mysterious past and turn out to be his uncle who was actually secretly in love with the boy's mother, because being his father would be too obvious, and a brooding, unrequited love builds trust in our minds and nicely sets up the sequel.
and now you know the movie! in our next edition: what the "REDBOLDblackthin" title font does to your subconscious on the posters for slightly risque romantic comedies.
* triptych and ridicule courtesy of suzanne goldish.
No comments:
Post a Comment